HELP! I HAVE TO GIVE A PRESENTATION

I received the following email and thought it would be good to post it with my reply here so more could benefit. The question is an important since it deals with communication anxiety, specifically fear of public speaking. I have been teaching public speaking for the past 30 years and have made a great many presentations during this time. I am not an expert or a scholar by any stretch; however, I think I have learned a few things along the way. Numbers 4 and 5 were originally offered to me over 36 years ago by my good friend and mentor, Paul Eckstein. I have found these to be invaluable.

Special note: Even if you don't think you will ever give a public presentation, you probably will one day. These principles should help. Even if you don't ever give a speech EVER, I think you can glean from these ideas some help for handling anxieties of all kinds.

Hi Kevin!

It is Jennifer from Bible Study. I am seeking your advice. I have 3 upcoming trainings that I am conducting. Historically, I could give presentations and be semi-nervous, but do fine. People would always tell me that they could not tell that I was nervous at all.

However, recently, I have been getting anxiety prior to training. I get to the point that I feel like I am grasping for air (almost like I just ran a marathon), and have to pause for a period of time (for me it seems like forever) to catch my breath. My heart is racing, etc. It is not until I start to calm down (maybe when there is a question posed by the audience), that I can feel comfortable and actually talk normal. So, I have these upcoming trainings and when I even think about the trainings, I start to get anxiety. I am not sure what has changed.

Any suggestions on how I can combat this?

Thanks.

Jennifer

Hey Jennifer

Good to hear from you. I am excited about your opportunities - fantastic. I do have a few ideas that might help.

All fear is the result of what is going on between your ears. This is especially true of public speaking. So consider the following:

1. Everyone present really wants to see you succeed. They are on your side and believe in you.

2. You know what you're going to say, they don't. At least not yet. What you have to say is important, valuable and potentially life changing. At the very least you have information, insights, and pragmatics that can help people live better and succeed more in the area about which you are presenting.

3. Even if you are a bit nervous, this is normal. Everyone is - especially at the beginning of a presentation. Thinking about the fear way before you are actually there is rather unrealistic. The fear is based on feelings of either not being as prepared as you would like, making an embarrassing statement (or two), or completely falling apart. None of these are going to happen - you are prepared, if you do get embarrassed you will live and recover (and your audience will relate to you more), and you are not very likely to fall apart to such a degree that you cannot recover.

NOW HERE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PRINCIPLES:

4. You are really good one-on-one. However many people are present, you are only having a one on one conversation with each of them. Why? How? Because you can only make eye contact with one person at a time. However, many people are there 10, 100, 1,000, 10,000 ---- it is a one on one conversation with however many are there - the more there are, the more exaggerated your gestures and expressions will be. Other than that it is pretty much the same.

5. So, imagine you are sitting across the table from a close friend over a cup of coffee. You are discussing your topic (about which you are extremely familiar and excited) and you want your friend to understand the information, apply the information, and be as excited about the information as you are. Get that comfortable picture in your mind and work through it several times and make your complete presentation. Gradually move the setting from the table with your friend to the place you will give the presentation.

6. Realize that your biggest audience is Jesus. Do your best to please HIM! Also, realize He is there with you and you can do anything while relying on HIM. Work through the fears with HIM in prayer and visualizing the presentation in your imagination where you present flawlessly!

I hope this helps you some. Ultimately, communication anxiety can only be overcome by thinking in positives not negatives. You won't stop thinking and feeling something by trying to stop. The more you tell yourself not to think or feel something, the more you will think it and feel it. Why? Because it is impossible to think in nots. (Example: Try right now NOT to think about a purple pig! See, the more you try not to think it you think it twice. First you must see what it is you are not to be thinking about; then, you tell yourself not to think about that! Your thoughts just had twins!)

One last consideration tied to the last observation: Be sure to pray positively as well as think, envision, and imagine positively. Otherwise you will defeat yourself in your own prayers when you ask God to help you "not be afraid or nervous." In order to request that once you actually have to think it at least twice - What you don't want to be and that you don't want to be that way. Instead, focus on the victory, the positive, the success in your prayers. Jesus teaches us to do this when HE says, "And lead us not into temptation, BUT DELIVER us from evil!" The last thought is on the victory. Otherwise, we are sunk!

Let me know if this helps
kev
208-283-9599